Why being ‘a welcomer’ really, really matters…

Let me start with a quick story.

We’d had a fantastic week-long holiday cycling up and down the Alps. We’d packed the gear, jumped in the van to head home and having driven through most of the day and night all the way from south-east France, we were all pretty tired.

It was 2am and there was at least an hour left before we arrived back at our cars in Gloucester.

Then someone turned to face Darren in the back and asked him this question…

…“When you get home who are you looking forward to seeing most?”

For context, Darren, was hidden in the back of the van buried in a weeks worth of (very well worn) cycling kit, the odd spare wheel and other non-ideal items to be sharing a backseat with.

Now at this point, I must stress that Darren is one of life’s good guys. He is happily married, has 3 delightful children, good mates and enjoys his job. Life has been kind to him – Everything seems rosy.

After about ten long minutes he delivered this very considered answer…

“My dog.”

Now, of course Darren was definitely looking forward to seeing his family, but the image of his hound’s happy face and wagging tail completely changed how he was feeling at 2 in the morning in the midst of prevailing circumstances and his imminent arrival at a dark, and otherwise silent house.

So why the dog Darren?

The dog won because he wouldn’t care that it would be the dead of the night, that Darren was tired, that everyone else in the house was asleep. The dog wouldn’t be thinking that whilst Darren had been away enjoying himself they had all been at home working hard and holding the fort. Darren knew that his dog’s reaction would simply be “Hey, Darren is back! Let’s get excited!”

And just the thought of his dog’s unbridled excitement and enthusiastic welcome impacted Darren’s current situation… even when sandwiched between greasy wheels and sweaty lycra.

And here’s the point.

Now what if we had people around us that consistently made us feel this way? And what if we were that person to those around us?

People who reflect a reality like this to us in the face of life’s inevitable challenges can, and will, change our lives and circumstances for the better. AND, as people, they are healthier and are more fulfilled and have a more positive experience of life in general and on those around them.

Can it really be that simple?

It seems so. Accepting the mix of disappointment and success – like winning one contract but losing another – whilst keeping it all in balance and staying positive, is really good for you AND everyone around you. We bring more energy into what we are doing and this, in turn, brings more positive outcomes than if we arrive into any space uninspired.

Think for a moment about the people you work with. And now the people you enjoy working with the most. Do you achieve higher productivity with this group than others? Of course – it’s not rocket science. If you enjoy working with someone,and you feel they enjoy working with you, then you are likely to get more done.

The link between these two factors is well documented. In the midst of the reality that that life and business throws you uphill climbs as well as freewheeling downhills, remaining positive and welcoming with the people around you, will improve your experience and potential AND theirs! Because whilst life isn’t always rosy, rarely is it a complete disaster.

To put it another way… this is why positive, enthusiastic welcoming people make such a difference over the long term. They are a catalyst for good things happening. Things are just better for them being around. More gets done and – not only do you get the productivity payoff – but you get more done in a more fulfilling and more enjoyable way.

So using Darren’s dog as a somewhat daft metaphor, we need to remember that it’s also the same with us, with very practical implications.

If we know that when we get a positive response from those around us we are far more inclined to enjoy being around them, to stick through good times and bad and produce awesome results all the while – then we need to check the extent to which we’re creating that same feeling for those who come to work for us.

If we are then it becomes a virtuous circle, as the people who want to be with us will affect how we are and so on and so on. We encourage and welcome them and they in turn encourage us to be the best version of ourselves which in turn contributes to our sense of fulfilment and well being.

Just to be clear Darren is not saying he likes his dog more than any member of his family. Or that they don’t like him.

They do. An enormous amount.

It was just that it was his dog’s unbridled affection that rose to the front of his mind most quickly in the pitch black at 2am in the Gloucester country lanes. And that’s telling something about what we’re all looking for… in all of life. And that’s to have folk around us with a genuine, infectious enthusiasm that bolsters the way we feel, think and act.

All of us have the same opportunity – to affect our interactions and shared performance by bringing the best version of ourselves into all the spaces we occupy. Admittedly this is easier to achieve sometimes than at others, but for all of our benefits, it’s a choice we can and should make for our own health, well-being and contribution, as well as that of those we care most about.